I need to kickstart my first 40 days, so I’m doing seven things. One would be enough—but I feel like I don’t have time for just one . . . and I’m afraid I need a real boost this first 40 days. I don’t enjoy any of these things. Cardio makes me feel sick, weights are boring, meditation is boring, synagogue/bible makes me feel uncomfortable and bored, I don’t like swallowing vitamins . . . because I don’t like eating things.
Day 1: Cycling: 1 mile in 4 minutes; Eddington Number = 1.
I never do cardio. I have a trainer who told me I don’t eat enough to do much of it. He tells me I should eat more. I don’t. So I don’t do cardio. That’s the excuse I use. One mile should be easy—it was tough. There was a woman next to me really working hard, probably going a hundred miles. I used one of those video game bikes. I don’t know if 1 mile in 4 minutes is good or not, but I went the mile and then ran off to write down my numbers.
Day 1: Weights: 37 minutes. 20 sets, 148 reps, 6086 lb.
I go to the gym about once a week—tops. Every couple of weeks I go to my trainer. I don’t improve much. Today I was actually down since the last time I went—I can’t remember how long ago it was that I went, maybe a couple weeks. I listen to the news, stop at Starbucks on the way home and get a breakfast sandwich, go home and drink a protein shake.
Day 1: Meditation: Art of Living
I signed up for Art of Living my senior year of college. . . . I didn’t keep up with it—they say if you do it for 40 days in a row you’ll have some revelation. The members of Art of Living are sort of cultish—they don’t believe in being troubled. You can say “I have troubles” and they don’t understand. It sounds awful or insensitive, but it’s somewhat beautiful, because you can see these modern, functioning human beings who have dealt with their problems through meditation. And if you can’t find a little time each day to do the same, then you’re the ridiculous one.
But it’s intensely boring. Focusing on my breathing. My mind wanders. And when I get to the meditation portion, I begin falling asleep. I dream when I’m still awake, so I know when I’m falling asleep—I begin seeing bizarre visions, and I wake myself up. I’m supposed to solidify my negative feelings and breathe them out. I can’t—because I can’t concentrate.
I totally missed the rest [of my goals]. Synagogue I woke up too late for. I didn’t eat any real meals at home, so I used that as an excuse to skip vitamins. . . .
All in all, doing these things felt like a waste of time.